Vancouver Barbie
One of my friends posted this on her Facebook and I thought it was very funny.Vancouver Barbie
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater Vancouver market:
"West Van"This princess Barbie is sold only at the Park Royal Shopping Centre. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a designer kitchen. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
"North Van Barbie"The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
"Kits Barbie"This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
"Surrey Barbie "This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
"Mission Barbie"This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
"Yale Town Barbie"This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.
"Delta Barbie"This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
"Vancouver Island Barbie"This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Point Breeze Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
"Port Coquitlam Barbie"This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
"Merrit Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
"Davie Street Barbie/Ken"This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on body parts.
Disclaimer: Although many of these stereotypes are true, the author of this blog may or may not agree with these stereotypes.
posted by Woosang @ 12:10 PM
5 Comments:
LOLLLL Sign me up for the Mission Barbie. Last time I checked my jeans were pretty baggy... ;)
I will email you a picture of Cory's jacked up truck though, cause that does fit the description. :)
ps: post pictures of your bday!!!
Not bad! Fairly accurate. Although North Van Barbie would NOT drive a Windstar.
One of these Barbies needs to Asian is all I can say. How about a Tri-cities Barbie?
I think a Kits barbie would not even have a car, but would carry her yoga mat EVRYWHERE (and outfitted head to toe in lululemon gear). Richmond Barbie could be Asian, wearing blue contacts, sporting eyelash extensions - driving a honda civic with lots of cute plush toys inside.
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